Ahhhh! Feels good to be back! Off we go...
Psychotherapy is a very important part of my present existence. I've been a busy girl for the past few years. I've been up and down and all around, emotionally. For the past two months, I've been seeing a therapist.
I've had a dark cloud following me since childhood. I thought I was well clear of it awhile back. I sure as hell lived like I was. Recently, my blue sky began to turn gray. Well, it turned gray quite a few years ago, but I was always sure it wouldn't last and ignored it.
Some awful events from so long ago have crawled into my life again in the form of depression and emotional lock-up. These events lead to emotions and actions that create havoc in my present, pretty good life. And they make my wonderful husband's life undeservedly difficult.
The good news is that Ryan is probably the best man I've ever had the pleasure of KNOWING, let alone marrying. We're getting through it all together. Side by side.
I was asked to write a 'Once Upon a Time' story about my childhood trauma(s) today by my therapist. I wrote and wrote and felt so mortified by the words as they appeared on the page in front of me. And then I read them for her. She instructed me to write in the 3rd person perspective. So I wrote about a little girl. She asked me what the little girl's name was. I told her she didn't have one, because I didn't want to have to say my name over and over again in context with this horrific 'fairy tale'. I told her that she had no name. She just was.
I cried until my legs shook while reading the two pages to her. I still don't know why it's so important to relive most of this shit, but ultimately, I know it is right. I felt deflated and wrecked after leaving the office and somehow went about my day with a smile on my face. No one, except for my husband and my therapist, knew any better. And now you know. sort of.
http://oppao.net/n-ona/
http://oppao.net/navi/
http://oppao.net/new-d2/
http://oppao.net/fd3/
http://oppao.net/soap2/
http://oppao.net/bg2/
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http://oppao.net/lesson2/
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http://oppao.net/fl3/
http://oppao.net/bb2/
http://oppao.net/s-este/
http://oppao.net/rd2/
http://oppao.net/kawa/
http://oppao.net/n-club2/
http://s-auc.net/
Posted by: オテモヤン | March 28, 2010 at 06:50 PM